Lets go into the past... my life in the last couple years.

ok so I decided that I would go through past emails and give portions of them in my blog. sorry if it is hard to read. when I write emails. I don't ususally go back and check for grammer/spelling errors. most of these were copied and pasted.



1/5/06
between alot of school and work i don't know, i think i might go crazy! ah well i guess it doesn't matter, I'll get over it. my sister keeps telling me that i have to start my applications for college. which is really weird i still think i am too young to be able to do that. but i have to do it anyway. oh well i suspect i am not alone in this as i know the lord will be by my side.

1/10/06
i don't really like tomatoes but i eat them anyways! oh boy! i impress myself at how good i am at eating my veggies and tomatoes!


3/14/06
I remember when i went to the young womens broadcast last year and the prophet came. It was truly amazing. when he walked into the conference center the whole place went quiet. then everyone started to stand for him and we started to sing we thank thee oh God for a prophet. it was amazing that is all can describe of it . just the feeling in the room

I not quite that old yet but i'll be turning 18 in a couple months. so i am pretty much still a baby. but i have been putting applications in for college. byu and byu-idaho. but i am probably going to go to UVSC utah valley state college cuz it tis the cheapest and i don't have loads of money.

5/23/06
oh boy these last couple of months have been really hectic. what with school and all. but i'm coming out of it fine. i graduate friday. it seems really weird. it doesn't feel real

7/18/06
I have been working like every day for the two jobs that i have. so i am pretty much bringing in the cash. i am also spending time divising little activivties for my new nursary class. it is so hard to keep those kids focased on the lessen that you have to come up with creative ways to teach them the lesson with them moving around and not just sitting for twenty minutes. and the worst part of nursery is when we give the kids snacks and i don't get to eat any. every week it reminds me of how i didn't eat breakfast that morning. maybe i shoud start eating breakfast more often especially on sunday. oh yeah and i am going to buy a car! but don't get to excited it is probably going to be some cheapo car that doesn't even have air conditioning. i just have to find it first. I have been wanting to but the car next door it is a jeep cheroke ( is that how you spell that?) it is pretty sweet looking but my dad says that if i get it that the repair costs are three times that of a regular car. so that kind of bums me out. he won't even go and take a look at it. and it won't do any good if i look at it because i don't know which is which or what is what. it is sad really how clueless i am in the car department. oh and i don't know for sure if i will be able to go to college inthe fall because i am still not a legal resident and so everything is extremely expensive even with a pell grant for 2000 dollars. which would have normally covered all the costs. it really stinks i mean i have lived here for a year and seven months. is that not close enough to two years! oh well i have to set up appointments with the counselors anyways i should be able to get an exception to the rules.

7/24/06
Hey Guess what! I was fired from were i work!

9/6/06
well i started institute and i have the most amazing teacher. he is so not intimidating that youcould easily talk to him about spiritual things as well anything that comes to mind. class always goes over because we are just having way to much fun. and he brings us good food. to keep us
coming. but of course we come for the lessons not the food that is just an added plus. school is not over i am going to college and have already had the privledge of writing ripped apart by the teacher in front of the whole class. of course no one knew it was mine. but still....i guess i have to face it, i am not a very good writer. oh well life goes on. i'm over it. at least he lets us fix our mistakes and turn it in again. since mine was fixed in class, i don't have very much work to do.
hey i got myself a cell phone but it is a cheap one. oh and i accidentally no showed at my job the other day. but they let me stay anyways because they need me there. I am just to good for them to lose. HA! but seriously it really was an accident i didn't know i had to work there(homefabrics) on friday so iwent to my other job(byu catering) friday. it was my last day at byu catering so i thought i was good till i got a call asking me why i didn't come to work for homefabrics. it was an interesting experience. it seems this year is a year for firsts. first time fired, first time i no showed, frist time in college, frist time in institute but not all of it was bad firsts

i watched Nacho Libre for the first time! it was funny funny! me and chase(my little bro) can't stop qouting the movie. i, of course, qoute it with my glorious spanish accent.

9/28/06
hey did i tell you that i chopped my hair so that it is up to my ears . i died it a kind of reddish brown and got contacts. except for the die was supposed to wash out in a month and it hasn't now it is red brown blonde some indeterminant color that still looks good on me.i have to say that i like it. and something else, i told my friend in AZ that i died it red and she said she would always thnk of my as being a blonde, i can't tell if she was refering to me as being stupid or my blonde hair that i had in AZ. i would much perfer to take it as her refering to the color of my hair. oh well.
so yeah that is whats happening up here in cold utah.

10/4/06
i talked to my brother about my birthday present he was supposed to send me in June. he said he thinks of me every time he listens to my CD. so i have resigned myself to the knowledge of never receiving it.

10/24/06
don't feel too bad for me i know enough gringos who can speak Spanish for me and my grandma. though it is a little sad that i don't know Spanish considering the fact that i am half Latin. i know it is hard to believe but it is the honest to goodness truth. my mom who i got it from doesn't even speak Spanish either! what is this world coming to!

1/10/07
next month i am going to Disneyland with my sister and her family. i am totally excited of course her husband dannon is being very organized about everything which is weird for me. he had Jenelle call me up and ask me my top ten favorite rides and what places i like to eat at. I am pretty sure he now has some schedule cooked up for every second of the four days we will be there!!! But worst of all is that my sister wants us all to wear fanny packs! and don't forget that they want us all to our favorite Disneyland costume while we are there. sheez! of course i can't decide what i am going to be. i mean do you remember any character that has short curly blonde hair? excluding male characters. nope! not one! I'll just have to be boring and go as myself. besides going to Disneyland dressed as a character can be scary. because then the cast members will start talking to you as if you are them. well at least i think so because last time i went my friend had on a Winnie the pooh back pack and some guy walked up and started to carry on a conversation with Winnie. Awkward moment for me and my friend when that happened. oh well sometimes the good times a person has are just plain weird

1/16/07
what about that wise crack about my being short huh? 5' 2" 1/4" is not that short when i am standing next to my nursery kids! so there!

oh and did i tell you i finally have a car it is a ford something or other that starts with a t
taures or something like that i probably spelled it wrong. i 'll probably end up selling it before i go to idaho. after i spend mucho dollars on fixing it up.
such is life

3/27/07
so at school i am not really majoring in anything. just doing generals. but on my school record it says that i am studying theatre. i actually just put that down just because. i wanted it to look like i was doing something. But i am actually taking a theatre classs. it is my favorite. geuss what! i was in a 10 minute play and i got to pretend to be a boy. we did a RPG thing for our play. I was the NPC and my one line that i said over and over was "Times are Tough" i am pretty sure that i was the best and everyones favortie character. I even managed to get the girl in the end how crazy is that!

i am taking sign langauge. it is fun my teacher is deaf but it is amazing how much i can still learn. especially since i have never taken it before.

NOw it comes to my absolute favorite class! Institute! I am taking teachings of the living prophets. it is really amazing because you are able to get to know the apostles and prophets personalities and their background it makes them more real when you realize that they are just like you and me. I love them so much more now. of course it helps that my teacher is amazing. Sister Terry has this great sense of humor and always smiling. i know that i need to work a little harder to be more like that.and her class has helped me so much i walk in there and you can just feel the spirit coming upon you. it is a wonderful feeling.
my goodness and i begin to describe how much i love this church. i feel i am really blessed to be in this dispensation with the knowlegde of the gospel at my fingertips.

4/2/07
well for my sign langauge class i have to do ten hours of silence. No talking just sign. MY goodness it is hard. i didn't realize how little i knew until i actually tried to have a conversation in only sign. i keep talking out loud while i sign when i am supposed to turn my voice off.

yay! school is almost over! and my money is almost non-existent ( boo-hoo) I need to get another job! maybe i will be a janitor at school that pays good money even if it isn't always the best job to have.

so i just went to a play " O Pioneers" it was about a german family coming to America to start a new life. it was kilnd of crazy and i swear there were even parts that could be rated pg-13. which bugged me especially since there were little kids watching it. like several of the main characters die which is kind of depressing. oh well.
i was required to see it for my theatre class.

yeah! great stuff goin' on in my life. or how about this story. at my work the assistant manager likes to take pictures of everyone that works at homefabrics and put them into a calender. she has everyone do a funny pose. well she came to me asked how i would like to dress as napolean Dynamite. all i have to do fluff up my hair a little more. find some big glasses , moon boots and i could be his twin. i thought it was funny when she suggested it. i didn't think she would actually want me too. but she insists. i told her my hair is not long enough. she said she knows she is going to take it in october for halloween i will have plenty of time to grow my hair by then. i guess i am stuck.

4/9/07
it is getting so hot up here! i am finally wearing shorts again.
and i found out something horrible about my car. since my car is dark grey and th insides are black everytime i get in my car it feels like i am going to suffocate in the heat! it might be nice outsside but in my car it honestly has to be twenty degrees hotter. it reminds me of arizona.

6/26/07
i got a new job! i work at byu Grounds. i am in the pesticide crew. i wake up at five every morning so i can get to work at six. which i think is kind of funny since i dropped a class because it started at seven. of course it different with work, because i get payed. this is the highest paying job i haved worked at so far. a whole spanking ten dollars an hour.
oh and something else exciting that happened to me. i got my young women recognition award. another funny thing about that is that i finished it the day before my nineteenth birthday. ( the YW pres. said i could work on it while i was still eighteen. ) i am so happy that i finished it!

8/4/07
did i ever tell you that my friends Kelly T. and Kelly J. from AZ went a road trip to visit me! they were willing to spend 12 hours driving to my house in order to see me and only me! isn't that exciting. well they came like a week ago. they got here friday night and left wednesday morning.
so lets see we went to do baptisms for the dead at jordan river temple and that was pretty neat. except Kelly T. lost her CTR ring there. and she says that it was an expensive one that her parents bought her. and she was all freaking out. we honestly searched everywhere we were permitted looking for that ring. oh yeah and i forgot one other detail that happened slightly before this event. when we first got to the temple Kelly T. realized that she had forgotten her temple recommend at my house. we really didn't want to go all the way back to my house because it took us forty minutes to get there. so we decided to ask the baptism guard guy what we could do. he told us to talk to some other guy who could get to recorder for us. so kelly had to fill out a paper telling phone numbers and such. we were all worried that the bishop wouldn't be home and that she wouldn't be able to get in. but of course if he wasn't home then we would have to go back to provo and get her reccommend. but thankfully the bishop was there. so we were all able to go into the temple. ( that was kind of a long garbled story and if any of it didn't make sense oh well becuase i am not going to go back and proof read)
on sunday we went to a singles ward. which was different for me because i have never been to a singles ward. i had to get a sub. for my nursery class in order to go. (oh and by the way i have beenin nursery for a whole year now. it just doesn't seem like it) a lot of people came up to us andwere like your new. are you going to be staying with us. and athe kellies would say that the were from arizona. and everyone would assume that i was from arizona as well.thought that didn't last long because then the kellies would end by saying that i lived around the corner and that they were visiting me. and then they would look at me and ask if i was staying i told them no i had a calling and then they would say so you could still transfer. but i would say no i like my calling and i am not willing to leave it just yet. after that their face would kind of spasm but they quickly resumed their smiling faces and welcomed us just the same. singles ward is really different. in the chapel it is dead silence and the only noise would come from the speaker. it was really weird becase i am used to the back ground noise of a family ward. i don't know but i need background noise even at home or in my car. i think i would go crazy if i didn't have it. right now i am listening to my dad using his pawer tools and my little brother taking a shower downstairs. if i was alone right now i would probably have turned on some music.

on monday we all went to lagoon. um i ended up with a headache yeah that was great.

on tuesday we went to the pioneer day parade. that was fun. but it was odd too because there were floats made by the lds stakes surrounding salt lake.
but my all time favorite part was when President Hinckley passed by in a convertable with a cowboy hat and leather gloves on. at first we just say a car coming by and we were ondering ahy everyone was starting to stand up when they hadn't for anyone else. so we stood up just to get a good look. and then we all read the sign on the dorr of the car Gordan B. Hinckley President of the LDS church. and we all started scrambling for our cameras. but by the time we got them out he had already passed. she we looked at eachother and said she we gather our stuff and run up ahead. we all nodded our agreement and started running. we ran up pasthis car and had our cameras ready. we all took pictures but we didn't get his face just his hat. so ran ahead again and took more pictures yet we still couldn't get a good one. don't orry we weren't the only ones who were running like crazy there were a couple other people running beside us. finally on the third attempt we got one of him looking at us waving. of course i could tell the security guards we giving us funny looks by now especially since they had seen the same girls three consecutive times. then we all walked back to our original place thinking that seeing him made watching the parade worth it. of course we didn't realize how far we had run. we had to walk back two blocks before we could find where we were sitting. after the parade we went to walk around temple square. and talked to some sister missionaries.
on wednesday morning we cooked a big breakfast for everyone. yummy blueberry waffles with more blueberries and strawberries on top and don't forget the whipped cream. actually it was homeade whipped cream. then of course there was eggs. but that was all we had time to make because they had to eat and get going.

oh and did i mention that we went to a play on saturday night that was fun i love plays! we saw Beauty and the Beast
so yeah we had good times.i am feeling quite happy now that i was able to see them. i miss them though i wish i could go down there myself.

my sister said that she wanted to get a job at a hersey chocolate place. but she wanted me to apply with her. she said it paid $13 an hour and that it was the graveyard shift. i am actually considering it. i mean i left homefabrics for three more dollars. i can leave pesticide stuff for three dollars too if i want too. although Jim my boss keeps saying that i am a good worker and that he is relying on me to bring everthing together and to take charge when he is not around eventhough the other two people on the crew are at least eight years older than me.28,27 around there. they also get paid more than me. but it is only they have had their license a little longer then me. maybe a year . but this is their first time at an actual pesticide job. we all started work on the same day. and apparently since i am the one who writes done notes and keeps track of the log of were we put down the material i have shown myself a better employee. even though i don't have the horicultural knowledge that they do since they are both majoring in landscaping and i am majoring in nothing. just doing generals. at least that is what Jim told me. He is forcing all this responsibility on me and i don't know if i am ready for it. but then again i don't want to let him down. i would feel guilty if i left now just when he is counting on me to come up with a better system of how we do things and so when new people come it will be easier for them to adjust and understand whatis going on. i tell you this is the weirdst job i havev ever had. i an not used to having to come home and think about work when i am not at work. but i do need money and i could get more at this other job. my dad is actually coming to work for jim this month too.i can't leave now not when i basically got him this job. and if i left Jim would have my dad to talk to about me i would just feel awkward. oh i don't know what i am going to do. i think this is definantlysomething that i need a little help.i am going to have to pray about it.

although now that i think about i am getting a nice tan from this job.
(ha i am more red thananything)

i have to go now my little brother who is now taller than me needs to use the phone.

8/13/07
checked the other job and they didn't have any open positions so i am stuck in the pesticide job.

9/4/07
oh i didn't get accepted to BYU i got accepted to BYU-Idaho there is a big difference. i live in provo i work at BYU but that doesn't mean that i want to go to school there. ( of course i did apply there and was rejected , how sad is that)

9/26/07
OH yeah i have a new job! Bona Brazil. i have to learn Portuguese really quick because all these return missionaries come and want to speak in Portuguese plus everyone that is from Brazil comes there to eat and a lot of them don't know very much English.
i am the only server that doesn't know Portuguese.
don't worry i still work at the pesticide place. and at football games and at home fabrics. i Tell you it is crazy i am going to have to quit one of those jobs soon.

so i found out that one of my friends from Arizona is going to BYUI and we are going to try to room together! i am excited!( and scared)

10/13/07
Marriage! i fell the same about it as you.I don't think i am mature enough to take on that big of an commitment right now. although i have a lot of people who tease me about it and say that i could marry any of the return missionaries that come into Bona Brazil. they like to say "oh, you are 19! just the right age for marrying". i always blush and fidgit and say no to them. Especially the owners. the always tell me in their broken english how Natalia (their daughter)found her man at their resturant and that i will too. Seriously it bugs me.

10/25/07
MY brother keeps singing! and i have to keep telling him that he isn't really that good and that he is hurting my ears.
But it is almost as if i haven't even said anything he just keeps singing. and even after he gets punched in the gut he sings all the louder.

I love institute!!!!!!!11!!1!1 it is like NUMBER ONE in my book!

oh did i tell you that i got a hug from some random guy ( he happened to be quite good looking) at the BYU football game on saturday. let me tell you that was an interesting experience.

10/30/07
yeah sometimes i get all this energy and i want to run around and scream. but it never happens i just start talking really fast and saying wierd things, and then people look at me funny. but i don't care. i just give them a funny look right back. sometimes the best part of doing crazy things is the reaction that you can get out of people.

11/12/07
Let me tell you I am beginning to love football games! I got another hug from some other guy!
and a boy asked for my PHone number. Finally! seriously, i thought he never would. I was going to ask him the next time i saw him.

Oh and i haven't worked at Bona Brazil this past week because business was bad so they asked me not to come in, they couldn't afford to pay me.
but the week before i got into a good conversation with this Texan. OH boy was he good looking!

Next week i get to register for classes! the time for me to leave is drawing near. i wish it was time to go now so i can just get it over with. all this waiting is killing me. WATCH OUT IDAHO! Elise the Boss is coming!! ok yeah um.. just kidding.

my muscles are so sore right now. i think i went a little too far in my weight training class.

1/30/08
Yes I am having a "heckish" day. My roomates are driving me crazy! There are four of us altogether. the person I am sharing a room with keeps bossing me around. everytime it gets late and she is going to bed she turns to me and asks if I am coming to bed too. when she should already know the answer especially when it looks like I am doing my homework. It is almost as if she is telling me to go to bed. plus she needs someone to tuck her in or something. she is extremely spoiled given everything she ever wanted. she likes to say that she is spoiled but not a brat. she has alll of these opinions that she likes to voice and if you say anything different you are completely wrong and she won't stand to hear any other way. then we have cleaning checks every week. i have cleaned the bathrooms and the kitchen everytime. and i somehow end up vacuuming and doing the special clean project that is assgned every week. I think I just need to calm down and then maybe i will be more kind. i am trying hard. that is why i am venting to you. i will get all of my jumbled up feelings out. lots of anger, annoyance, and irritation and any other kind of feeling that makes you feel sick in inside. I feel so sick that i might even cry.
maybe i will go to bed....or not. so i do have good things to write about. i promise. i just don't feel like writing good stuff
so um... talk to you later.

but the snow looks pure. um... i have made alot of friends since being here.
i saw a real pretty picture of the temple. my dorm is clean. i am hanging out with my friends now. I get to go do baptisms for the dead in the new rexburg temple. i get to go to the dedication of that temple too.
so here is some positive things. i decided i would write good things.

2/5/08
so I watched the super bowl for the first time. It was really quite exciting. I am glad that the team i happened to choose won the game.! YAY! go giants. i still don't understand all the rules but i feel that i will soon. especially around my football lovin' roomates.
my favorite part the game was the last five minutes because that is when it gets intense.

I turn the big 2-0. that is such a weird thought to me. not very far away and then i myself will be old. no longer a teen. ( i think i will hold a moment of silence for myself...ok thats enough silence) now for the tears to come because i am begining to see wrinkles all over my face. OH! Woe is me! the pains of getting old. i can already feel my bones creaking with every move i make.

so i am taking this abs that rock class. it is PAINFUL. my abs aren't rockin like those people said my abs would be. they lied to me! i don't think it should be that painful. how come i didn't get a six pack over night!?

I feel used

2/6/08
i like to eat the snow
it is like free snow cones out here! i especially like it right after it snows.
and no i don't eat yellow snow

i thnk i am going to go and get myself a cup of snow. i might even put cherry limade on it.
yum! freshly fallen snow!

all i have to do is walk out my door and the snow comes up to my shoulders! well at least on some places in campus.
it is fun falling backwards or face planting with your arms spread wide into the snow. it is like landing on a soft cushion.
one night i actually went out in my dorms courtyard and started running around and falling. my body covered the entire courtyard that night. i had fun. lots of people had fun watching me from their windows. no one joined me though.

2/7/07
i am now the relief society historian newsletter person at church.
no idea what i am supposed to do though. The Relief Society President isn't sure either. She said that whe would have to talk to her counselors about it.

2/15/08
no i usually smile and wink at one guy and then six different guys come over mistakenly thinking i was looking at them.


ok enough of this! i do have guy friends but i didn't really wink at them. i don't think i would do that in a millin years to someone i didn't know. unless i was playing the winking game. (which i have and that is an amazingly fungame) but winking in real like is a little weird.
i would be creeped out if someone winked at me.

3/12/08
i got an email from an old friend in Utah, Amber, and she said that she was accepted to BYU-Idaho too. so we decided to room together.
I knew her in the eighth grade. i havent seen her since then. she moved away after that.
so i met her in salt lake and i car pooled with her and her mom and dad up to Idaho. while with them i guess i have changed since they all last saw me.
They thought I was corrupted over the last several years. i wasn't the innocent little girl that they remembered.

so... that is the end of the story. Apparently I am corrupted. dun dun done!

oh and Amber never fails to tell me how weird I am.

3/13/08
isn't it cool that if you change the size of your font it makes it seem that you have written alot more than you actually have?

I watched Tommy Boy for the first time. That was a pretty good movie.

I made BLTs for dinner tonight.

my roommates and I went grocery shopping today. we have food again! oh and toilet paper!! oh happy day for that . we ran out today and that is the most horrible thing in the world to do!

3/16/08
i got a tattoo too. actually I got two tattoos!
one is a dollar sign and the other is a star.
my roommates and i got them at the dollar store.
they are totally Bling Bling!

I also died my hair brown again!

3/17/08
do you realize how hard it is to get those fakey tattoosoff?!!! I had a presentation in my family history class and i wanted to take offmy tatt bfore class. i didn't feel like having everyone stare at my arm while i was trying to qoute prophets and such. oh man, i had to scrub at my arm for like forever. my arm was tomato red by the time that i had decided that that was as good as it was going to get. there are little black dots left over. but at least from far away you can't see anything.
3/20/08
have learned how to jump start a car now! I have done it like four times. I feel like a professional.dang i am good! i learned how to change the air filter, oil and transmission fluid from my dad before coming here. I am just like a regular auto mechanic!!

something intersting happened to me tonight.
my freind was going crazy and wanted me to go shopping with her. so we got to her car and it was dead. so i borrowed my roomates key took her car and her cables and moved it close to my friends car. as she was guiding me close to her car she didn't realize that she had left her keys in her car with the doors locked. so when i pulled up she went to go pop the hood and realized that she couldn't. then she realized that she had also left her purse in the car as well which is where she had put her spare key. she came to me and asked if she could borrow my phone and then i realized that my bag with all my belongings was in her car too.

so we went back to the dorm and went online to find a lock smith. she couldn't seem to find a locksmith in Rexburg only in Idaho falls which is like 20 minutes away. so she called one guy and he laughed at her on the phone and said that it wouldn't bwe cheap. by this time she was at her wits end and was on the verge of tears(that guy wasn't being very sympathetic.) he started asking her the make and year of her car and then she was like, "i don't know" so she said she would call back when she found out. then she tryed one more time to find a locksmith in Rexburg and luckily we did! so 20 minutes later two guys come and meet us by her car. (they were smelly{like smoke} and one guy had multiple peircings in one of his ears) they unlock her car door in like five minutes and then it takes like 15 minutes for them to actually process her credit card and write all her info down. plus one of the guys felt like being chatty.

once they were gone we still had to jump start her car. so i parked next to her and like five minutes later we were done and ready to go. we drove by the place that she had originally wanted to go shopping at but by this time it was closed and then we went and got hot cocoa. drove back to the dorm and sat in her car and talked for like an hour. oh yeah and i forgot to mention. the whole time all this stuff was going on it was pouring rain. and the funny part was when we drove back after getting hot chocolate she said, Lets just sit in the car and listen to the rain."
it stopped raining like two minutes after she said that.

5/29/08
finally know what it feels like to be stressed and i don't like it. i just want to curl up in a ball and die rather than face my problems...

oh woe is me!
oh and by the way. my house is for sale. my dad graduates this december. he wants to move back to Arizona. i havent decided whether or not i want to stay and continue schooling here or go to school in Arizona. I have no money either way.

7/14/08
today of all things i get hit in the neck with a random golf ball. there is a golf range right next to where i work. so sometimes the people hit their ball hard and it goes over the net and into our work area. i remeber watching several balls coming over and hitting the side of the building or onto the garage door and making dents. and thinking wow that was close if i was two feet over that would have hit me. so as i was walking out the door to go home. i take two steps and then something hits me hard in the lower neck right above the bone.clavical. and i think to myself "are you kidding me!"i look at the ball and silently curse it. then a sharp pain shoots up my neck and i am thinking the worst of great i bet i just broke something.... dont worry the story ends happilly. i didn't break anything it is just a bruise that will take at the least two weeks to heal. i am lucky that ball could have hit me anywhere. if it hit me in the eye or on bone instead of soft tissue things might have been worse for me.